The Black Lodge

03:53 pm - Yuh-oh!

NEW JOURNAL!
http://videodrew.blogspot.com/

02:11 pm - Hurry up hurry up and wait, I stay awake all weekend still I wait......

Me and James are starting a Blondie cover-band, if we ever stop fighting about who gets to be Debra Harry.


Oooh, Goodbye Blue Monday got some more  shout-outz in the paper. There is a cool picture of the place too. Aftrer work Im going to meet owner-Steve to go look at the apartment above the shop.
http://www.nypress.com/19/29/food/joshuambernstein.cfm
http://nymag.com/listings/bar/Goodbye-Blue-Monday/index.html


Ps- NEVER GOING OUT WITH A GUY I MEET ON MYSPACE AGAIN!!!
SO FUCKING CREEEPY!


blah blah blah transitional mediums blah blah blah.

Um, I might go see Harry later tonight. I miss Oberlin.

10:10 am - Once I had a love and it was a gas soon I found out, had a heart of glass..........

people at work are convinced Im anemic. Mainly cuz of that bruise on my leg that I can't remember getting, but is slowly growing tendrils via the vein that seems to have exploded, and is slowly overtaking my entire leg. Gross. It looks like I've been shooting Dilaudin into my calf. Also, I keep getting these really cold shocks at work, and had to steal a jacket to keep myself from freezing over. No one else in the office seems to notice the temperature is set to Antartica. But I eat LOTS of red meat, so I don't know what could be causing this. But just check out the symptons:

I mean, I do chew paper. Apparently that's a disorder now. And I quit smoking cuz of the lack of breathe thing. I'm always cold, bruise easily, am EXTREMELY pale, and have dizzy/diassociative symptons all the time.
Oh well. Chris made an awesome dinner last night; pesto chicken and champagne. James came over and we all watched Videodrome, and this six minute short feature called "Camera" which was awesome.
Is it weird that I was totally more into the menu screen of the movie than I was the film itself? I like tv collages, what can I say? Im definately a child of the Marshal McLuhan "medium is the message/massage/ mass-age" school of thought, but I really didn't need James Woods to tell me that. Plus, its a little antiquated to believe that Video/Television is the medium thats going to brainwash the masses nowadays, I think a more appropriate update would be something along the lines of youtube, or that "faces of death" clip that James downloaded. Still, relevant themes, all around. Two thumbs up. I <3 Blondie.

10:56 am - Oh the IRONY...........

i am FUCKING FREEZING.
Seriously, my office feels like the fourth circle of hell after Keanu Reeves gets an Academy award.
Fuck...brr...........
and its like over 100 degrees outside. Which means I am sipping hot chocolate and shivering, occasionaly running downstairs, thawing out and starting to melt, and then running back up here again. Occasionaly,  this will lead to some moments of equilibrium; it feels good to be out in the sauna-like temperatures after being blasted by artic air all morning, as well as the nice feeling after i start to burn up and run back in the cool office.
But wtf?
IS THERE NO SUCH THING AS NORMAL TEMPERATURE?

01:59 pm - Walk your ass down the runway and get paid.......

so, in terms of sketchiness:
this guy messaged me on myspace and asked if I wanted to model for his site. At first I was like "nope" and was planning to delete the message, but I checked out some of his picks and they are actually pretty rawkin'. He does a lot of photography for Heebs, that Jewish magazine. So how sketchy can that be? Plus, he's taking me out to dinner on wednesday night in a public place, so I can gauge whether or not I will be on next week's episode of the reality show Law and Order. His stuff can be found at http://joshuarubin.net/
Anyway, I think it might be a blast, and everyone knows I loooove getting photographed. So, can we have some official weigh-ins here? If I meet the guy first and he seems legit, is it that sketchy to go ahead?

02:58 pm - My hell comes from inside me it comes from inside myself I like this........

yo. I found my old Xanga again! I guess i never "lose" it per say, but its a fun thing to read when Im bored.
I found this Pushkin quote:
"But whom to love? To trust and treasure?/ Who won't betray us in the end?/And who'll be kind enough to measure/ our words and deeds as we intend?/Who won't sow slander about us?/Who'll coddle us and never doubt us?/To whom will all our faults be few?/Who'll never bore us through and through?/ You futile, searching phantom-breeder,/ Why spend your efforts all in vain;/ Just love yourself and ease the pain,/My most esteemed and honored reader!/ A worthy object! Never mind,/ a truer love you'll never find.

Why do I feel like I was smarter as a freshman? Still obsessed over a guy though, albiet a different one.

09:58 am - Seperation can be......a terrifying thing...........

AH!!!
Thus, Cronenburg again suceeds in making me physically.I'm pretty sure that up until History of Violence he was putting subliminal messages in all his movies that somehow triggers my brain into "vomit" mode. I've watched a lot more grueseome stuff than last night's "Dead Ringers" but for some reason it still had me running to the toilet and dry-heaving. Gross. It doesn't even fit with my theory of WHY his movies make me so squeamish; essentially that I don't like watching inorganic things pulse. Dead Ringers wasn't even ABOUT that, although it did feature a trigger for my gag reflex- watching people shoot up. I just can't watch it. It's DISGUSTING.
All in all though, a brilliant movie that I thought I had figured out by the end of the first act, before it totally went off the deep end and in a totally different direction than I thought. Plus, Jeremy Irons= hotness. TWIN Jeremy Irons= doubleplus good. Also, I totally called the chick in it as the mom from House of Yes.
My friend Chris has the best place ever in Astoria. We got Dojo's (and my face didn't explode! Hurray!) and drank lots of yummy sangria and 40's, which probably contributed to my feeling sort of sick. Its really cool that after all our years apart Chris and I have moved back to (essentially) the same location and can pick up our friendship exactly where we left off.
Tonight: going to go see Scanner Darkly w/ Luke, which I've been looking forward to all week. And tommorow is Siren Festival with 90+ degree heat, but Liam and Frank are coming into town, so that's awesome. I'm sure it will be Oberlin reunion 2006. AND BRITTANY TAYLOR IS COMING BACK TODAY! W00T! That's good, because Im starting to feel like I have a distinct lack of female friends, despite my hour-long gab fest with Kelly last night.
Hey, what was the name of that play we saw in London that was based on a Dogma film? It translated to "The Celebration"? Wasn't it called Faustes or something like that? You know the one, with the "its daddy's birthday" song? I was going to rent that last night before Dead Ringers caught my eye.
So far, the Empire list of indie films has yet to dissapoint.

10:12 am - WOW! This guy is real! And way weirder than I thought....

From Wikipedia:

Robert Franklin Stroud (January 28, 1890–November 21, 1963), known as the Birdman of Alcatraz, was a prisoner in Alcatraz who supposedly found solace from segregation in raising and selling birds. Despite his nickname, he never kept birds in Alcatraz, running his business until transfer to Alcatraz from Leavenworth.

Oh yea, and yesterday was the worst day ever.
What happens when you combine your period, a day-long torrentual storm, and some shitty behavior, all of which I was unprepared for?

Also, digging a little deeper: that Alcatraz guy stabbed a guard during dinner after calling him a "cork-sacker", officially providing me with the best insult EVER.
god, I have too much free time.

Edit:  Wow, Im glad that when Im feeling down, I know that the internet will provide me with some reassurance that I'm not the only person that thinks  David Hewlett, is hot. What a DREAMBOAT! I especially loved his work in uh.....Poa vs. Python? No? Anyone? Stargate Atlantis? This guy's entire repetoire can be viewed at 5 am on the sci-fi channel, I believe.

Okay. So, whats more pathetic? This site, or the fact that I invested so much effort into finding

02:05 pm - If any of you were ever wondering why i obsess about my weight...

I present to you:

Drew in high school

Although I guess the point of this clip is that I'm annoying and unoriginal, not specifically that Im fat and think a half-ponytail is a  good idea. 
*shudder*
most....go....take....dieuretics......cold.....shower..........

thanks, danny and dylan. im glad you guys were around to document the most awkward phase in my life and put it on myspace and youtube.

01:50 pm - Life in Rotoscope...

Deart Mr. Downey Jr.,

Please marry me. Or at least be my best friend. We can rail lines together and I will forgive you for making me spend an entire year obsessed with that awful Neil Jordan film, In Dreams.
Also, to sweeten the deal, I am willing to admit that naming your child "little master india" or some shit is way less damning then naming them oh say, Pilot Inspektor or Audio Science (Jason Lee and Shannon Sosaymen, I am looking at YOU).

In other news, I am  very happy that Pee Wee's playhouse is on Adult Swim, and plan to ward off any groping attacks in the future by telling people that I have to take care of my body because I do too much coke.

Is it weird that when i clean my nails out in the morning I sometimes find chunks of human skin?

Weird dreams abound; two nights ago it was killer slugs, last night I was trapped in the head of the Sphinx with Grant and Liam and there were elevators out but of course you had to know the 9-digit code that kept changing otherwise you were sent to the insinerator room. Even my dreams rip off the Cube. Pathetic.

04:01 pm - Star Trek comics and lots of Fraternities of Lust.....

i've been M.I.A. since my cell-phone died at Steve's, but Im finally home.
Well, Im at Goodbye Blue Mondays, which is my home, sort of. And soon to be literally, my home, as I am moving to the upstairs loft at the end of the month. The store got a shout-out in the Music section of the Times for a show that happened here a couple days ago, which is awesome.
Currently, I am putting things up on Ebay under "bluemon", so go check shit out.
What else?
Nothing else.
Who wants to take me to see Scanner Darkly this week?

02:43 pm - Good morning good morning, its great to stay out late....

God I finally slept in a REAL BED last night. Thank you jesus. Although it did make getting up in the morning that much harder. But whatevs. I got a good amount of sleep since I passed out at like, 10:30, when Steve and Sam went to some Hero's Quest drinking party. What fagzorz.
Turns out my office has one of those coffee machines like in the science library. I'm in Heaven, I tell yah.
Cuz I didn't wanna wear the same outfit two days in a row, i walked into work today in Steve's jeans and Anna's shirt. I look ridiculous. I need to go home/change/shower. 
Then its the weekend. Hurrah

08:59 am - Oh its hard to be a man when there's a gun in your hand.....

uso update: 
turns out on the fourth, the girls WERENT wrestling in jello, but animal blood and chum. They are performance artists; one of the chicks is a puppeteer for PBS or something. Curiouser and curioser............
So when I told Steve (owner of goodbye blue monday, not ex-Steve, or dad-Steve) about my job, he looked kinda sad and said he was going to ask me to start doing ebay listings o his comics stuff. Apparently I am the comic chick. It makes me happy that I am referred to that already. It gives my life a purpose, because now i have a job AND a hobby.
Plus Steve might be renting out one of the lofts above the store and I want to get it. Its only 25 bucks extra a month, and as Jason put it, "It has a window AND a fire escape." Which is good because if there was ever a fire in The Cube, I'd be dead in ten seconds flat. That place is a death trap, for super-serial.
Then me and Jason checked out this awesome comic called "Video Jack" where this guy gets sucked into his TV or something, and I don't think Marvel got the copyright's to a lot of the shows they use on there, since most of the time its just vague references to different 80's sitcoms. The art for each "show" is different though, which is pretty cool.
Yea, so if anyone wants to be buy REALLY cheap comics on Ebay (we're basically selling everything on wholesale, because Steve just wants to clear a lot of it out) I will put up our name on here pretty soon and you can get cool comics on a steal.
Meanwhile.....Its my first day at Columbia, and I woke up at 7:20 (ugh) and got here at 8:30. Wtf? I thought it was supposed to take WAY over an hour to get here. That's annoying. I'm going to start waking up at 7:45 and see if I can still have time to get my Starbucks on. So far I'm just idling around on the computer, which is nice to have.
Later on I am going to go visit ex-Steve and steal some of his drugs. My back is KILLING me from my stupid air mattress.


*update* its now 4:33 and I haven't done any work since before 12. For 12 bucks an hour, this is a pretty sweet job, plus I get lunch every day with james for an hour. sweet.

12:14 pm - STOP DOING CONSTRUCTION RIGHT ABOVE MY HEAD MOTHERFUCKERS AHHH@!!!

sorry.
that's what happens when I get zero hours of sleep, go to a crazy interview session (ps-got that job at Columbia) and then come home to get some shut-eye.....but no! Of course not! The powers that be (ie whoever teh fuck is gutting my house and making my room a cubic inch smaller everyday) deemed it UNNESSECARY that I should get some shut eye this afternoon, despite the fact that starting tommorow, I have a 9-5 schedule that is 1 hour and 1/2 away from my pad.
arghhssdgkgew.
I need some sleeping drugs. Stat. Until then I will sit at Goodbye Blue Monday and maybe curl up on the couch and read comics till I fall into a lazy-day (raining like FUCK!) sleep.
James started classes at Columbia today, too. So hopefully he will find a place on the upper west side and I will insist on sleeping over every night. Yesssssssssss. NEW PLAN!
The party yesterday was awesome; lots of random hipstery folk showed up, this chick let me borrow Clowes' "Like a velvet glove cast in iron" which was the creepiest fucking thing I've ever read, I got asked out on a "hot air balloon" date (Im glad that when I told this to james he had the same reaction I did, "what a great place to rape somebody!"), grilled some sausages, got asked approx. 20 times if my tattoo was from Eraserhead, got asked twice that amount if it was from an obscure Pixie song. Some things never change.
Saw the countries of Mexico and Canada fight for the title of "New America" in the guise of two chicks wrestling in jello/hard alcohol. It was way more entertaining than I thought jello wrestling would be (to watch, of course).
And thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn............Um, went to hang out with Farah, Max, and James on Max's roof, we got pizza, Farah took off her pants, and I went home early so i could get a good nights sleep.
Yea right. I ended up reading prisoner's dilemna all night, and with cracked out red-eyes, trying to make sense of Barney at 6 am. NOT ADVISABLE.
SO.
Yea.
thats my life.
suck on it.

02:27 pm - i was having a hard time living a good life........

so, interview at Columbia Law tommorow. James and I are going to meet up for lunch after his class/my interview. Sweet.
Yesterday at Goodbye Blue Monday B.T. found a hundred bucks stashed in one of the books there, and Steve split it with her, fifty/fifty. We spent it all on expensive. I spent most of the day trashed, decided to stop over at Barnes and invite myself to his friends' barbeque, which solidifies my theory that I can really survive in New York during the summer by barbeque hopping.
So, I want to start going and temping, but if I get a 9-5 job at Columbia it will pay me 10 dollars an hour LESS, and wouldn't leave me any temping time (except maybe weekends). So we'll see. Plus, goddamn, Columbia is SO FUCKING FAR FROM BROOKLYN.
As opposed to Oberlin, apparently, which has made its home in Bushwick.
Besides all the Skeletons kids, I've managed to run into two "semi-Oberlin" kids (ie friends with Oberlin students that I've met before) at goodbye blue monday; Frankie (who used to date Dean and who is friends with tony) and Jason (who looks eerily like the dude from the cube and who I met sleeping on the couch at the Skeleton kids house.) Last night Jason and I watched Mean Girls in his awesome loft space right above the store.
So now I'm still at my "second home" at Goodbye Blue Monday, helping set up for the barbeque and hoping it doesn't rain. Steve bought a keg and it should be fun.
Also, I think Im supposed to be at this NYU thing later. We'll see.

07:43 pm - remember to let her under your skin then you can begin to make it better......

so.
definite job at hunter college, but its part-time and pays shit.
POSSIBLE full-time job at Columbia Law School. I have to call again tommorow.
Going to do that proof-reading course on Sunday.
Most exciting thing: Working as contractor as Goodbye Blue Mondays, the hipster bar/vintage store, redesigning their comic section, which includes THEIR ENTIRE BASEMENT.
Sure, Im doing it for free, but I get to make a store-front design, dig through tons of shit, and get paid in free comics.
James just left, but he is moving here this weekend.
Love to Liz. My address is 36 Lawton St. apt. 1, brooklyn ny 11221

07:30 pm - Curb my enthusiasm.......

so no job.
but.
apartment.
in bedstuy.
I'll be moving in tommorow.
Then....the job search.
My parents are putting the cash upfront for me to get the place, and that includes first months rent (utilities included in bill....yay!) plus I'll be next to b.t. Literally, next door.

So I plan on just walking around, handing out my resumes at colleges to see if they need administrative assistants.
Or helpers. Whatever.
I've taken to writing on my craigslists ads "Uncanny X-men power in Administrative Duties!"
I mean. God, anything to spice it up.
At least now I'm getting out.
I think my parents started to realize the dire situation when i spent all night sobbing and periodically calling people up on hte phone to yell at them for having better lives then me, and then blaming them for me being stuck in the suburbs forever.
Then there was the "clawing at arms" fit I had today. That was scary.
I'm in a box. I'm in a box.
But I'm getting the FUCK OUT.

07:49 pm - well fuck my cock

didnt get that job in New York.
Got an email from that bitch Carla at CESD though, can't EVER return my phone calls, but emails me late friday afternoon soon saying "the position has been filled."
Well, whatever. Guess I will just sit here and do nothing because I refuse to get a job that requires a car, won't work in Washington, and am fuking sick of Craigslist ads that never respond.
Guess I will just sit in dad's basement the rest of my life. Whatever.
fuckfuckfuck.
I really wanted this shitty paying job too.
It seemed so cool, its just that BITCH Carla who never returned my calls, who was always "out of the office" and was basically the most condescending snot I ever met. Maybe that's the biz, but really, human decency is sort of a nice thing too.
whatever.
fuck.

06:52 pm - And in this room one afternoon I knew I could love you and from above you how i sank into your soul

....st. john's party slash Wilde Lake slash friends from high school party in Annapolis last night. Erica Beall, Jamie, Andrew Hobby and Susan, Marybeth, all chiding me on wearing my "Playa del fuega" outfit. Had an awesome time until I felt nausaus, at which point some guy took out a guitar and me and him started a sing-along of Neutral Milk Hotel, Modest Mouse, and *cough*BrightEyes*cough* songs.
It was super fun.
I took James to Great Eggspectations for a belated birthday brunch. That place has such good food and the entire menu (which is huge) is entirely composed of puns.
Then I read the graphic novel "The Fountain" which is going to be an awesome movie.
Um, collected SO many kids in the hall sketches today. But can't find my favorite pomo one where someone forgets to write the end of a sketch, so the characters just sit there and slowly go crazy of hunger and thirst because they can't leave the room and they don't remember if they have wives or kids or anything becuase they weren't written in.
Doe anyone else remember that sketch?
Im watching Lost, and of course, its mesmorizing in that same social psychology way as the Cube is. So now I'll have something NEW to talk about.
But on to old things:
HOUSE TONIGHT AT 8 PM!!!

06:44 pm - Hey Jude, don't let me down take a sad song and make it better.....

omfg.
Youtube is my archangel, my savior, my love, my life. I have dedicated that last two days to making a "favorites" list, which I seperated into three categories:
1. drews (blackadder clips, Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry clips, House clips, michel gondry and spike jonze ads, david lynch ps2 commercials, trailer for House of Leaves,clips from the new Gondry film with the hot Mexican from Y tu mama-itlooks awesome, like eternal sunshine meets robot chicken-,etc)
2. Music videos (Still michel gondry and jonze here, but some other cool ones too....some live Bowie-not as good as the cover band I might add- and Take on me, duh, and The Cure's "love cat". Also some of the stuff that the NIN guy does. Whats his name? Raimez? Something like that.)
3. "Serious Stuff"( Meshes of the Afternoon and another Deren thing, Sissy Boy Slap Fight, the first Alice in Wonderland, previews for Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, Blow-Up, un chien andalou)
I've also subscribed to a channel that only shows women getting their head shaved on bizarre television programs or home movies. Most of thetime when they see the results, they start to cry. It intrigues me in this very Videodrome-esque way)

God this is fun. Some people collect music, some collect comics....I collect video clips. I'm also going to upload my films I made this semester on youtube pretty soon, so check out member "Saradrewgrant"(no spaces) and enjoy the ride.
So I guess I have no life.
BUT: I went to the doctors today and took care of my UTI, which has caused me IMMENSE amounts of pain and bitchiness lately, so lets blame all my lashing out on that, ok?

In other news: JAMIE GOT INTO SAIT JOHNS! HELL YES! Tonight, it will be a mixed-company party in honor of James being born from the womb: Erica Beall, Jamie, and Andrew Hobby will be accompanying me and James to Annapolis to party it up. Thank god Im getting out of this house though, im going stir crazy.
On the upside, things I have done today (productive)
1. Made about 7 garbage bags worth of branches that have been trimmed
2. Made hamburgers for dinner
3. Took care of my UTI (THANK YOU JESUS)
4. Called about my stafford loan
5. Made a follow-up call about talent agency job, left a message, will call tommorow
6. Called about apartment, left message, will call tommorow.
7. Made my sister watch Meshes of the Afternoon on youtube while, 120 miles away, I watched it with her. We creeped ourselves out. Best movie ever though.
Okay, gotta go get pretty. I've been looking mega-haggard since I got home, since constant running to the bathroom+intense pain= big floopy hair, bad skin, and general grossness. But tonight it is ON!